Last night was good fun, we went for dinner and then the others had a couple drinks. my drinking comes in tonight as i'm having a house party and don't have to worry about getting home or anything. Though i can't have much, since the Easter Bunny needs to visit at some point, and i can't forget where i hide the eggs just in case my son can't find them all...lol We got in about midnight and this morning woke about 6am, me feeling like i had a hangover and i wasn't drinking! How fair is that??
Today i am busy getting the food and drinks ready for tonight, Master is off to a BBQ, since its really hot where he is, and i wake to snow!! Am i jealous? oh you betcha i'm jealous, i soooo want to be in the warmth now, not to mention be with my Master... grins
Master and i got to chat a little before he left, and he instructed me to go and put my lock on, i am to leave it on until tonight when i fuck my husband, then to put it back on in the morning. Walking around with it on while i get the house ready, i can feel my Master with me and it makes me smile. Yes, my collar does the same, but there is something about a lock on your cunt that just sort of drives it home...lol
Well i better be off and finish getting ready, will be a busy day and long night, perhaps tomorrow i'll get some rest, after the Easter Brunch then later dinner... i'll be ready for bed at 8:00pm tomorrow.
Happy Easter all, enjoy!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
My day off...
So today was pretty good, got lots accomplished, though not as much as i would have hoped, but i think tomorrow will be better. Not much to write about today really, just house cleaning and organizing. Going out to dinner tonight, so that will be nice.
Tomorrow night we're having guests for dinner, so i get to be creative in the kitchen, haven't decided what i'm making yet, but i'm sure it will be good. Tomorrow during the day will be more of the same as today, as i'm sure Sunday will be too.
Though Sunday morning should be fun with my son and the Easter Bunny :) Glad he is still at the age he believes in the Easter Bunny, makes it fun.
i think that's about all i have to say today..lol, will soon have to dip into my memories and pull out some good ones.
Tomorrow night we're having guests for dinner, so i get to be creative in the kitchen, haven't decided what i'm making yet, but i'm sure it will be good. Tomorrow during the day will be more of the same as today, as i'm sure Sunday will be too.
Though Sunday morning should be fun with my son and the Easter Bunny :) Glad he is still at the age he believes in the Easter Bunny, makes it fun.
i think that's about all i have to say today..lol, will soon have to dip into my memories and pull out some good ones.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hmmm.. makes you wonder..
So the "pleasure" scented pillow didn't do its trick last night, kinda makes you wonder if he noticed...lol, although he seemed to sleep well. my night ended with putting my son to bed and taking a hot bath trying to rid myself of the headache i had all day.
Today has been really busy at work but am actually looking forward to my days off, even though i know they will be hectic. Maybe by Monday, i'll have some semblance of order back in my life... ha! who am i trying to kid. In talking to my Master today, it occurred to us that both our lives have been non stop since about Sept of last year, with various crisis popping up on us. We both desperately need a break from it.
i am glad though however things are slowing for my Master, though we both know when it hits a lull, that's when disaster seems to strike and he has to jump to the rescue at work, so we will see how long it lasts for him, i'm hoping that history doesn't repeat itself and he can actually finally have some breathing room.
my Master is hoping to visit a friend of his in the near future and that has me in a bit of a funk. Don't get me wrong, i'm very happy for him to get the break and its not like every time he goes away, i feel the need to be there. But it is past the time we were supposed to be together, and his friend will have his girl with him, and i just want to be there. To interact with another couple in the lifestyle, it would be quite a lot of fun i would think. Him being away like that just brings home the fact that as it stands now, i have no idea whatsoever when i will be able to get away. Master always says that opportunities have a way of presenting themselves, and i know he is right, but right now, its hard to see the light at the end of this horrible tunnel.
Who knows, maybe i'll win the lottery or something and then i can do as i please...lol, yeah yeah i know, fat chance... but a girl's gotta have dreams!
Today has been really busy at work but am actually looking forward to my days off, even though i know they will be hectic. Maybe by Monday, i'll have some semblance of order back in my life... ha! who am i trying to kid. In talking to my Master today, it occurred to us that both our lives have been non stop since about Sept of last year, with various crisis popping up on us. We both desperately need a break from it.
i am glad though however things are slowing for my Master, though we both know when it hits a lull, that's when disaster seems to strike and he has to jump to the rescue at work, so we will see how long it lasts for him, i'm hoping that history doesn't repeat itself and he can actually finally have some breathing room.
my Master is hoping to visit a friend of his in the near future and that has me in a bit of a funk. Don't get me wrong, i'm very happy for him to get the break and its not like every time he goes away, i feel the need to be there. But it is past the time we were supposed to be together, and his friend will have his girl with him, and i just want to be there. To interact with another couple in the lifestyle, it would be quite a lot of fun i would think. Him being away like that just brings home the fact that as it stands now, i have no idea whatsoever when i will be able to get away. Master always says that opportunities have a way of presenting themselves, and i know he is right, but right now, its hard to see the light at the end of this horrible tunnel.
Who knows, maybe i'll win the lottery or something and then i can do as i please...lol, yeah yeah i know, fat chance... but a girl's gotta have dreams!
More play..
So yesterday i got my new toys and tested out the one, and today, Master had me test out another. A new dildo, and wow is it realistic, all its missing is the cum spurting from the end... although i have seen those online! i seem to be really sensitive to a lot of materials, so finding the right one is hard and have had to experiment with many (not totally a bad thing), the other problem i seem to have is judging the size of the dildos online..lol and i get them and think huh?!?
Anyways, Master wanted me to use the dildo tonight, so he had me go into my bedroom and fuck myself hard and fast with it until i needed to cum... that didn't take long at all, which surprised me. i asked for permission and he allowed me to cum, then quickly move into the hallway and do the same, fuck hard and fast until i came, then move to the bathroom, repeat, then onto the office and repeat, each time i cum a little harder. in the office, my Master made me hold off my orgasm a little then ordered me to cum then gush, which my cunt did happily, my muscles clenching making hard to drive the dildo in.
Knowing i get a thrill out of doing naughty things and in particular, naughty things to my husband that he isn't aware of, for the grande finale, my Master had me go back to the bedroom, this time, onto my husbands side of the bed. It has been some time since my husband has used me, so Master thought he might send him a little "subliminal message"... giggles, as well as satisfy my naughtiness. Master had me put one foot up on the bed, then fuck myself again with the dildo until i came very hard, then i was instructed to wipe the dildo off on my husbands pillow as well as dry my cunt on it, thereby leaving my scent on his pillow sending messages to his neanderthal brain that there was a cunt in need of use. Very clever if you ask me... grins. i wonder if he'll notice or just flip it over and go to sleep...lol
We shall find out tomorrow!
Anyways, Master wanted me to use the dildo tonight, so he had me go into my bedroom and fuck myself hard and fast with it until i needed to cum... that didn't take long at all, which surprised me. i asked for permission and he allowed me to cum, then quickly move into the hallway and do the same, fuck hard and fast until i came, then move to the bathroom, repeat, then onto the office and repeat, each time i cum a little harder. in the office, my Master made me hold off my orgasm a little then ordered me to cum then gush, which my cunt did happily, my muscles clenching making hard to drive the dildo in.
Knowing i get a thrill out of doing naughty things and in particular, naughty things to my husband that he isn't aware of, for the grande finale, my Master had me go back to the bedroom, this time, onto my husbands side of the bed. It has been some time since my husband has used me, so Master thought he might send him a little "subliminal message"... giggles, as well as satisfy my naughtiness. Master had me put one foot up on the bed, then fuck myself again with the dildo until i came very hard, then i was instructed to wipe the dildo off on my husbands pillow as well as dry my cunt on it, thereby leaving my scent on his pillow sending messages to his neanderthal brain that there was a cunt in need of use. Very clever if you ask me... grins. i wonder if he'll notice or just flip it over and go to sleep...lol
We shall find out tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
New toys
Today i got my new toys in the mail, just like Christmas! i got a new remote egg, so tonight, Master wanted to try it out. i went and put the egg in then returned to the computer. Master had me turn it on and said we were going to test the settings. i started out at 1, which is a steady low vibration, felt nice but not too strong, then 2, a little stronger, 3 stronger yet, 4, is my favourite so far.... it pulses strongly. Master had me stay at that setting while we talked about my next meeting to be used and fucked. i could feel the pressure building as i used my muscles against the egg buzzing inside me. A few minutes later, Master said i had "that" look, my orgasm was fast approaching.
Finally after another 5 minutes of talking, my Master counted down from 5, then let me cum, i came fairly hard, but the orgasm wouldn't stop, it just kept going, riding the buzzing wave. Master then had me move through the other levels of vibration, but 4 was still the best. i continued to cum for several minutes till finally, i hit a setting that really did nothing in comparison. The orgasm slowly ebbed and Master said that was enough. He had me remove the egg, show it to him, then clean it...smiles. Licking it, i could taste my juices, my clit tingled again, but play time was over.
Master had to leave, but left me with permission to make myself cum in the shower, however i like. i'm thinking the shower head will be the tool for this job. So i'm off to end my day then get into the shower, i think sleep will come quickly tonight.
Finally after another 5 minutes of talking, my Master counted down from 5, then let me cum, i came fairly hard, but the orgasm wouldn't stop, it just kept going, riding the buzzing wave. Master then had me move through the other levels of vibration, but 4 was still the best. i continued to cum for several minutes till finally, i hit a setting that really did nothing in comparison. The orgasm slowly ebbed and Master said that was enough. He had me remove the egg, show it to him, then clean it...smiles. Licking it, i could taste my juices, my clit tingled again, but play time was over.
Master had to leave, but left me with permission to make myself cum in the shower, however i like. i'm thinking the shower head will be the tool for this job. So i'm off to end my day then get into the shower, i think sleep will come quickly tonight.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday Already...
After a really really long weekend, Monday is upon me once again. i soon hope to begin enjoying my weekends, and not having to work through them. The weather is still pretty cold, can't wait for it to warm up finally!
Not too much to say today, except i'm soooo glad its a short week! Maybe i can finish up my stuff on the weekend with four days off, hopeful but doubtful...lol
Back to the grind for me!
Not too much to say today, except i'm soooo glad its a short week! Maybe i can finish up my stuff on the weekend with four days off, hopeful but doubtful...lol
Back to the grind for me!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
to be continued....
i have done wrong and am currently being punished, will resume blogging when allowed
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A Day of Rest...ha!
Well not much to write, or time to write it in. Been a really busy day and the weekend isn't over yet. Master is away but we have chatted when we can. Thank god for technology! My life has been turned upside down for the last few months, but with hard work on both my and my Master's part, it is slowly returning to normal. i can't wait for the day things are back where they were 6 months ago and things just slow down.
Until till then, like my Master says, just keep swimming, its all you can do.
Until till then, like my Master says, just keep swimming, its all you can do.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Hmmm Friday...
Today my Master and i talked and i said i wasn't sure what to write in my blog today, he said, why not dip back into the past a little more and talk about your training and changes you've made. Good idea i thought, but now staring at this page, its difficult for me to remember how it all began. It seems eons ago that i was this scared though defiant, un-confident girl. And so much of my training and changes crept up on me, its hard to keep it all straight, but i'll try.
When i first met my Master, i was "normal" looking, hair the same as it had been for as long as i can remember, my clothing such that i wasn't really noticed, rarely wore make up, wasn't really looking after myself health wise. You know the typical wall flower, there but hoping not to be noticed. But Master saw something else, he saw my potential. i can remember him telling me i was beautiful and i thought "what?!? me?? umm no". He let me away with my doubting for a while, then as time passed, i would be punished for making those remarks.
my Master started changing little things, like making me dress more appropriately in things that actually fit and didn't hide my figure. Then he decided it was time i stopped hiding behind my bangs, and let my hair grow. i really do have beautiful hair and Master loves to play with it. i was horrified really, growing the length wasn't an issue, but my bangs! i'd had them forever, sort of a security blanket i guess. i argued to no avail that my forehead was too big, my hair line too far back, whatever i thought might change his mind, but of course it didn't. As time went on and my bangs grew out, people saw the change and they didn't like it, making comments about how they were hiding my face and how much nicer it looked when they were shorter. i would just smile and push them out of the way, tuck them behind my ears or pin them back with a clip. i would fight with my hair on a daily basis trying to get these new bangs to cooperate until finally i just gave in and let them do what they would. Now my "bangs" are about shoulder length and my hair is pulled back off my face. The difference is striking, i look more like a woman, than the child i think i was holding onto. Master was right, of course... smiles, i do love the way my hair looks these days and everyone else just got used to it.
Now the changing of clothes was a bigger deal, i had always been heavy, except for a short time in my teens, so had worn clothes that hid my figure. With Master's gentle pushing, i began to buy clothes that fit and showed off my curves. i also started wearing dresses and skirts on a regular basis, which i never did. The looks i would get and comments about being "gussied up" were hard to take at first, and Master helped me to see that it was the fact that i was changing people didn't like. They are used to certain things and change upsets their world. Not that i am the first to jump at change, i hate it.. but that's for another day... smiles. These days, no one is too surprised to see me in a dress or a skirt and heels, and have gotten used to the way i dress and even when i do something a little drastic on occasion, like wear my corset on the outside of my clothes, they just glance and normally don't say anything...lol, i think they are still a bit shell shocked so am easing them into it.
Sometime during this, i asked Master to help me to lose weight, i had tried many times before and failed, but i thought with his help, i might actually make it this time. He asked me why i wanted to lose the weight, and i said because i have always been unhappy being fat. Ugh, wrong thing to say... to him, i have never been "fat" and if i was losing the weight to make him happy, there was no need for it, that being said along with a few strikes of the crop, i assured him it wasn't for him that it was for me, he agreed to help me with it. Since first meeting my Master, i have lost about 25 pounds, but still have a ways to go. For my Master, the only importance is that i am fit for fucking.... grins, meaning i can go for hours without being tired or lazy. i am after all for use and if i am too tired to be used, then what good am i? Over the last 3 years, my Master has sure put my fitness to the test and really, except for the first time, i think i have met his expectations, which makes me very happy.
Intermixed with the changes to my appearance and clothes, Master began changing my mindset and helping me to trust again, and with that trust came a deeper level of submission to him. When we first met, i wasn't really an orgasmic girl, i mean i could cum, but often took a lot and then that was it. The first mental trick Master taught me, was to make connections between my body and mind. He had me do an exercise, which he still uses on me now. It is, using your tongue on your upper lip, lick the little cleft there as you rub your clit and imagine your tongue on your clit as you do. Well, wow, was i surprised when i felt my cunt getting wetter and my clit throbbing and i found myself needing to cum very badly. Master would allow me to cum and i would cum harder than i thought i would. After a while of that training, he would have me play with my nipples while using my tongue on my lip and finger on my clit, thereby making a connection between clit and nipples. my clit would tingle and pulse till i was again near orgasm and begging for release. For a long time after that, i would find myself licking my lip at work, in the car, where ever i was, i could feel my clit tingle instantly and got a rush from "masturbating" in public and no one would even know... *grins and flicks her lip*
These connections between my nipples, clit and tongue grew stronger over time, to the point that now, if my clit tingles, my nipples are almost sure to tingle next. Where these connections have allowed me to go is amazing, slightly unbelievable, but real and true.
Have to get some work done, so i will likely write over the weekend what i have learned since those early days.
When i first met my Master, i was "normal" looking, hair the same as it had been for as long as i can remember, my clothing such that i wasn't really noticed, rarely wore make up, wasn't really looking after myself health wise. You know the typical wall flower, there but hoping not to be noticed. But Master saw something else, he saw my potential. i can remember him telling me i was beautiful and i thought "what?!? me?? umm no". He let me away with my doubting for a while, then as time passed, i would be punished for making those remarks.
my Master started changing little things, like making me dress more appropriately in things that actually fit and didn't hide my figure. Then he decided it was time i stopped hiding behind my bangs, and let my hair grow. i really do have beautiful hair and Master loves to play with it. i was horrified really, growing the length wasn't an issue, but my bangs! i'd had them forever, sort of a security blanket i guess. i argued to no avail that my forehead was too big, my hair line too far back, whatever i thought might change his mind, but of course it didn't. As time went on and my bangs grew out, people saw the change and they didn't like it, making comments about how they were hiding my face and how much nicer it looked when they were shorter. i would just smile and push them out of the way, tuck them behind my ears or pin them back with a clip. i would fight with my hair on a daily basis trying to get these new bangs to cooperate until finally i just gave in and let them do what they would. Now my "bangs" are about shoulder length and my hair is pulled back off my face. The difference is striking, i look more like a woman, than the child i think i was holding onto. Master was right, of course... smiles, i do love the way my hair looks these days and everyone else just got used to it.
Now the changing of clothes was a bigger deal, i had always been heavy, except for a short time in my teens, so had worn clothes that hid my figure. With Master's gentle pushing, i began to buy clothes that fit and showed off my curves. i also started wearing dresses and skirts on a regular basis, which i never did. The looks i would get and comments about being "gussied up" were hard to take at first, and Master helped me to see that it was the fact that i was changing people didn't like. They are used to certain things and change upsets their world. Not that i am the first to jump at change, i hate it.. but that's for another day... smiles. These days, no one is too surprised to see me in a dress or a skirt and heels, and have gotten used to the way i dress and even when i do something a little drastic on occasion, like wear my corset on the outside of my clothes, they just glance and normally don't say anything...lol, i think they are still a bit shell shocked so am easing them into it.
Sometime during this, i asked Master to help me to lose weight, i had tried many times before and failed, but i thought with his help, i might actually make it this time. He asked me why i wanted to lose the weight, and i said because i have always been unhappy being fat. Ugh, wrong thing to say... to him, i have never been "fat" and if i was losing the weight to make him happy, there was no need for it, that being said along with a few strikes of the crop, i assured him it wasn't for him that it was for me, he agreed to help me with it. Since first meeting my Master, i have lost about 25 pounds, but still have a ways to go. For my Master, the only importance is that i am fit for fucking.... grins, meaning i can go for hours without being tired or lazy. i am after all for use and if i am too tired to be used, then what good am i? Over the last 3 years, my Master has sure put my fitness to the test and really, except for the first time, i think i have met his expectations, which makes me very happy.
Intermixed with the changes to my appearance and clothes, Master began changing my mindset and helping me to trust again, and with that trust came a deeper level of submission to him. When we first met, i wasn't really an orgasmic girl, i mean i could cum, but often took a lot and then that was it. The first mental trick Master taught me, was to make connections between my body and mind. He had me do an exercise, which he still uses on me now. It is, using your tongue on your upper lip, lick the little cleft there as you rub your clit and imagine your tongue on your clit as you do. Well, wow, was i surprised when i felt my cunt getting wetter and my clit throbbing and i found myself needing to cum very badly. Master would allow me to cum and i would cum harder than i thought i would. After a while of that training, he would have me play with my nipples while using my tongue on my lip and finger on my clit, thereby making a connection between clit and nipples. my clit would tingle and pulse till i was again near orgasm and begging for release. For a long time after that, i would find myself licking my lip at work, in the car, where ever i was, i could feel my clit tingle instantly and got a rush from "masturbating" in public and no one would even know... *grins and flicks her lip*
These connections between my nipples, clit and tongue grew stronger over time, to the point that now, if my clit tingles, my nipples are almost sure to tingle next. Where these connections have allowed me to go is amazing, slightly unbelievable, but real and true.
Have to get some work done, so i will likely write over the weekend what i have learned since those early days.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
On Lock Down... smirks
Since i am still locked up today, i thought i would write about that a little. Yesterday, at the end of our conversation, i was instructed by Master to lock up his cunt until further notice. Now a while back, Master had my labia pierced and has been patiently waiting for them to heal, which took longer than either of us thought, but well worth the wait. my rings are placed low on my labia so that when locked, it would be extremely difficult for a cock to penetrate me, and if it did, would likely really really hurt, if not damage me. Trying to explain the placement to the piercer was a tad difficult since most women have their labia pierced higher, he just wasn't getting it. So in the end, with my Master on the phone with me, i said something to the effect of, tricking my husband some time by locking the rings and he couldn't get in, to which i got a raised eyebrow, a smirk, then the piercer said, "well don't tell him I did it!" In the end, the rings are placed perfectly!
my Master gave me a little lock with a key, that i now carry with me all the time, and when he wants me locked, i must put the lock on immediately and put the key in a safe place. On the days i am locked up, i am allowed to wear panties, at least for now, so that it keeps the lock in position and it doesn't get tugged around by my pants. While it is on, i can feel the weight of it, its heavy enough when you are not used to feeling anything. But when it is on, it feels to me as if my Master's own hand is cupping my cunt keeping it closed, i feel completely owned and possessed by it, its a very comforting and exciting feeling
The rules surrounding my lock are as follows:
1 - When it is on, i am not for use
2 - i can not take it off without prior permission (standing permissions listed below)
a) take it off at night
b) take it off to shower or bathe
c) take it off if it causes irritation
3 - i must message my Master and tell him when i have taken it off, and when i have put it back on
4 - when the lock is off, anyone can use me
Little side note for those of you really reading the list... no i can not take it off to wee... so takes me a little longer in the ladies room to make sure its all dried off, since i can't hold it out of the way when i wee, due to the position i must hold, and yes, i do fear one day i go to unlock it and it won't open because i've wee'd on it too much!...lol will be an interesting day!
Master will be away for the weekend and i will be busy away from home alot, so he was very good in reminding me of my rules so that i won't get myself into trouble. i have to admit, he is very good and patient with me in that respect, he is always reminding and cautioning me to think hard about all i do. Something i have trouble with.
So here i sit, locked up, and can't help but smile and feel a little naughty whenever i have to deal with someone and walk around, its a mixture of serving my Master and that "dirty little secret" thing that gives the clit that tingle and keeps this girl wet throughout the day.
my Master gave me a little lock with a key, that i now carry with me all the time, and when he wants me locked, i must put the lock on immediately and put the key in a safe place. On the days i am locked up, i am allowed to wear panties, at least for now, so that it keeps the lock in position and it doesn't get tugged around by my pants. While it is on, i can feel the weight of it, its heavy enough when you are not used to feeling anything. But when it is on, it feels to me as if my Master's own hand is cupping my cunt keeping it closed, i feel completely owned and possessed by it, its a very comforting and exciting feeling
The rules surrounding my lock are as follows:
1 - When it is on, i am not for use
2 - i can not take it off without prior permission (standing permissions listed below)
a) take it off at night
b) take it off to shower or bathe
c) take it off if it causes irritation
3 - i must message my Master and tell him when i have taken it off, and when i have put it back on
4 - when the lock is off, anyone can use me
Little side note for those of you really reading the list... no i can not take it off to wee... so takes me a little longer in the ladies room to make sure its all dried off, since i can't hold it out of the way when i wee, due to the position i must hold, and yes, i do fear one day i go to unlock it and it won't open because i've wee'd on it too much!...lol will be an interesting day!
Master will be away for the weekend and i will be busy away from home alot, so he was very good in reminding me of my rules so that i won't get myself into trouble. i have to admit, he is very good and patient with me in that respect, he is always reminding and cautioning me to think hard about all i do. Something i have trouble with.
So here i sit, locked up, and can't help but smile and feel a little naughty whenever i have to deal with someone and walk around, its a mixture of serving my Master and that "dirty little secret" thing that gives the clit that tingle and keeps this girl wet throughout the day.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A little more cam fun...
This morning i log onto my phone and my Master messages me to say good morning. i reply with a good morning and description of what i am wearing today, pants, blouse, cardigan, socks, tall boots, hair pulled back and make up. Then my Master says let me know when you are at work. So i finish getting ready and send my son off to school, drive into work, get things gathered, then sit at my desk, log in and tell my Master i am at work. He asks how i am feeling today, and i'm feeling pretty good except my stomach is a bit uneasy for some reason, but otherwise fine. He then instructs me to go back on the cam site and my goal is to get 100 viewers doing whatever i can to entice them. i think OMG, how can i do that? i'm at work and am limited to what i can do... yes Master is my reply and i obediently get my cam set up and log in. My nerves are in over drive but i take a deep breath and just do it!
i unbutton my blouse so that it is open to just under my bra and begin watching the numbers climb slowly then recede, i type a little and talk to the few in the room, then i unbutton my blouse one more button and expose my bra covered chest to the cam... instant spike...lol i am up to now about 50 viewers. The comments start flying about how beautiful my breasts are and how big they are, i just laugh, because they aren't big at all, they are basically a C-, but the bra definitely helps. i watch the numbers going up and down and report in to my Master, and he says, you have to hit 100. So i pop a nipple out of the bra and start rolling it and playing with it. Within second, my viewers are now nearing 90 i'm almost there!! The comments coming in are all good comments, no idiots in the crowd today, but of course, you give a little, they want it all. They are asking to see my bottom and cunt, asking if i wear panties, to which i simply reply no panties for this girl, wow does that get them into a frenzy...lol
i stand and turn to let them see my bottom in my pants and again the comments start flying, i have to say though, i do love my bottom, i always have, its nice and round, a little large, but proportionate and not rock hard, but not droopy either...lol, one of my best assets i would have to say... pardon the pun...grins. After showing my bottom, clothed, now they want me to show them that i don't have panties on, by this time, i've gotten into it and don't really care, and am not really noticing the numbers so much either. So i stand up and undo the front of my pants and flash bare flesh where you would normally see the fabric of panties. Again, another feeding frenzy! They start asking if i shave or if i'm hairy, i reply, waxed clean... and yep, you guessed it, off they go again. i had to actually laugh at them. These men all hot and bothered ready to fuck anything are sitting there, some jerking off, others wanting to, watching me fully clothed. i peek up at the viewers and it is rapidly climbing from the 90's to just over 150!
Wow, i was shocked, so i continued playing with my nipples and breasts, then gathered named for MSN to play with when i am not at work. i have to admit, while at the beginning i was nervous, in the end i felt really good, and hmmm, sort of empowered, knowing that i could get most likely at least 100 out of those 150 men to fuck me if i wanted.
i reported back to my Master that it hit 150 viewers and he was very pleased to say the least. On his way home he had me masturbate thinking of those men standing in line waiting to fuck me, he would have each and every one of them either cum in or on me, one by one, the cum dripping off me, down my legs, completely covered in it, i was rubbing so fast and begged to cum, when he let me, i came very very hard, began to zone out actually, which is dangerous here at work, since someone came pretty close to catching me and i didn't notice them...lol After cumming several times for my Master, we began to discuss the point behind this little exercise he gives me.
Basically in a nut shell, various things in my past have caused me to have an extremely low self image. For the last 3 1/2 yrs, my Master has been working very hard to help me see that i am beautiful, desirable and fuckable. And yes, i have come a long way from when we first met, but in my head, i still think, of course my Master thinks i'm all that, he loves me, but other guys don't. And even with this cam training, i sit and hold my breath waiting for the nasty comments to fly. i'm not a model, i have given birth, gained and lost lots of weight, my body shows these things and i have to come to terms with it. It is who i am.....
my Master asked me, if it were a friend telling me about showing herself on cam with 150 viewers and one idiot made a nasty remark, what would i tell them. Of course, i would tell them, ignore them, its 1 out of 150. His comments mean nothing, he's an idiot, a stupid, weak, pathetic little man, sitting in a room all by him self, wanking to anything he can find. And in reality i "know" this in my mind, but its to get it to my heart is the problem.
When they are watching me, like there were today, and giving me such wonderful comments, i hear that nagging voice say, "well they wouldn't be saying that if they saw you naked"... or something of that effect.
In the end, i do have to admit i think i feel a bit of guilt, well, not sure guilt, but... my Master loves me for who i am and what i look like, why is it so important to me to get approval or reassurance from other men? Why do i need this confirmation? And will it ever be enough?
Well i'm off to finish up my work day, but not before my Master instructed me to put my lock on and stay locked until further notice.
i unbutton my blouse so that it is open to just under my bra and begin watching the numbers climb slowly then recede, i type a little and talk to the few in the room, then i unbutton my blouse one more button and expose my bra covered chest to the cam... instant spike...lol i am up to now about 50 viewers. The comments start flying about how beautiful my breasts are and how big they are, i just laugh, because they aren't big at all, they are basically a C-, but the bra definitely helps. i watch the numbers going up and down and report in to my Master, and he says, you have to hit 100. So i pop a nipple out of the bra and start rolling it and playing with it. Within second, my viewers are now nearing 90 i'm almost there!! The comments coming in are all good comments, no idiots in the crowd today, but of course, you give a little, they want it all. They are asking to see my bottom and cunt, asking if i wear panties, to which i simply reply no panties for this girl, wow does that get them into a frenzy...lol
i stand and turn to let them see my bottom in my pants and again the comments start flying, i have to say though, i do love my bottom, i always have, its nice and round, a little large, but proportionate and not rock hard, but not droopy either...lol, one of my best assets i would have to say... pardon the pun...grins. After showing my bottom, clothed, now they want me to show them that i don't have panties on, by this time, i've gotten into it and don't really care, and am not really noticing the numbers so much either. So i stand up and undo the front of my pants and flash bare flesh where you would normally see the fabric of panties. Again, another feeding frenzy! They start asking if i shave or if i'm hairy, i reply, waxed clean... and yep, you guessed it, off they go again. i had to actually laugh at them. These men all hot and bothered ready to fuck anything are sitting there, some jerking off, others wanting to, watching me fully clothed. i peek up at the viewers and it is rapidly climbing from the 90's to just over 150!
Wow, i was shocked, so i continued playing with my nipples and breasts, then gathered named for MSN to play with when i am not at work. i have to admit, while at the beginning i was nervous, in the end i felt really good, and hmmm, sort of empowered, knowing that i could get most likely at least 100 out of those 150 men to fuck me if i wanted.
i reported back to my Master that it hit 150 viewers and he was very pleased to say the least. On his way home he had me masturbate thinking of those men standing in line waiting to fuck me, he would have each and every one of them either cum in or on me, one by one, the cum dripping off me, down my legs, completely covered in it, i was rubbing so fast and begged to cum, when he let me, i came very very hard, began to zone out actually, which is dangerous here at work, since someone came pretty close to catching me and i didn't notice them...lol After cumming several times for my Master, we began to discuss the point behind this little exercise he gives me.
Basically in a nut shell, various things in my past have caused me to have an extremely low self image. For the last 3 1/2 yrs, my Master has been working very hard to help me see that i am beautiful, desirable and fuckable. And yes, i have come a long way from when we first met, but in my head, i still think, of course my Master thinks i'm all that, he loves me, but other guys don't. And even with this cam training, i sit and hold my breath waiting for the nasty comments to fly. i'm not a model, i have given birth, gained and lost lots of weight, my body shows these things and i have to come to terms with it. It is who i am.....
my Master asked me, if it were a friend telling me about showing herself on cam with 150 viewers and one idiot made a nasty remark, what would i tell them. Of course, i would tell them, ignore them, its 1 out of 150. His comments mean nothing, he's an idiot, a stupid, weak, pathetic little man, sitting in a room all by him self, wanking to anything he can find. And in reality i "know" this in my mind, but its to get it to my heart is the problem.
When they are watching me, like there were today, and giving me such wonderful comments, i hear that nagging voice say, "well they wouldn't be saying that if they saw you naked"... or something of that effect.
In the end, i do have to admit i think i feel a bit of guilt, well, not sure guilt, but... my Master loves me for who i am and what i look like, why is it so important to me to get approval or reassurance from other men? Why do i need this confirmation? And will it ever be enough?
Well i'm off to finish up my work day, but not before my Master instructed me to put my lock on and stay locked until further notice.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Interesting Morning... grins
This morning i decided to put on a dress, yes its still cold, but i thought, oh well, i'll brave it... 4 hours later and i think i regret that, i have been cold all morning! Master was away working so i wasn't sure i'd get to talk to him, so left him my usual morning greeting stating what i was wearing and whether or not i had pleasured. So today i am wearing a dress, bra, tights, high heels, hair pulled back and make up. i brought the corset with me to work again and put it on once here, still not used to wearing it to drive, and it impedes the movement, so until i am used to it again, i think its safer to just put it on once i'm here.
i had an interesting conversation with a really good friend of mine last night, we consider each other sisters really. She is currently unowned and in contact with many Doms, one such Dom recently used her and i was helping her to evaluate her feelings around it. There is no real connection between them, so its sort of confusing her. Basically, over time, she has somehow linked serving with trust. Now before i get jumped... i do agree there has to be a certain level of trust, basic trust to serve, in that you know you will not be harmed, mostly when you are meeting with this person alone. But, what i don't agree with is that in order to serve, you MUST trust that person. i pointed out to her that over the last few years, she has served several she didn't trust, but that wasn't the point behind serving. Its what she got out of it that mattered, that it fulfilled a need in her at that time, what ever that need may have been. To simply serve, is not always to submit. It is obeying, being courteous, dutiful, many things, but it isn't always about submitting. Do you submit because a Dom asked you for a glass of water and you did it?? hmm.. maybe...lol, i don't have all the answers, only what i feel and have learned.
She got the jist of what i was saying but i gave her a task...lol, yes, the Domme in me coming out a little. i asked her to write out what serving meant to her and what it entailed. Then to write out what submitting meant to her and what that also entailed and i think just by me pointing it out, she began to understand the difference. In order to give yourself to someone, yes you need trust, and a lot of it. i asked her where she had learned this thought, and she paused, and said, maybe its because i "want" someone to trust like that... smiles, i think she hit the nail on the head herself. i haven't had a chance to see if she did the task.. perhaps she is hoping for a punishment if she didn't...lol But will share the results, with her permission another day.
Anyways, getting back to my Master.... smiles... As luck would have it, he got out early and we chatted on the way home. He had a task for me, i was to get some ribbon, take off my tights, spread my legs as wide as i could, then tie a ribbon around each thigh, pulling it through the ring on each of my labia and tie it off... wow
As i began tying the first, i was quite nervous, as my Master pointed out, i did my little nervous "cough" thing. i could feel my level of vulnerability rising tenfold as i pulled the ribbon tight and my cunt was half exposed. The next ribbon was even worse, with both labia pulled back by the ribbon through the rings, my cunt was completely exposed, my clit had nowhere to hide! i could hear the grin on my Master's face as i explained how i felt. Before i tied the ribbons, my arousal level was aobut a 6, but as i tied the first ribbon, it had gone up to a 7, the mixture of excitement and fear definitely makes my cunt wet. my Master had me walk around a little and as i did, the lips of my labia rubbed on my clit, what an excellent result of the binding! He had me bend over and present my bottom for fucking and as i did, i could feel my clit hard and throbbing and the thought of needing a cock at that moment was quite prevalent. my Master laughed in delight at the predicament i was in then had me sit and begin masturbating, my cunt spread wide open, clit hard and exposed, my wetness visible. He had me stroke my clit then allowed me to cum, then cum and cum and cum, several times over, each orgasm increasing in intensity. With my eyes glued to the door, and trying my best to keep quiet, i listened carefully to his voice and i came over and over again till finally he told me to gush, and did i ever! With my cunt definitely wet at this point, my Master instructed me to fuck myself with 3 fingers, hard and fast, which i did and came a few more times like that. Then finally, my Master had me spank my clit, not hard enough to hurt, but just hard enough, and each spank sent a shock through me triggering yet more orgasms. my body was shaking by the time he said it was over, and all i could think was omg i hope noone comes in, i'm out of breath, my hands are shaking and my face is all flushed...lol
Afterwards, my Master had me take some pics of his cunt bound open and mail them to him. It was not an easy thing to do since i couldnt really bend over to get the cam far enough away with the corset on..lol, but i did it and sent them.
Now... what to do for the rest of the day!...lol
i had an interesting conversation with a really good friend of mine last night, we consider each other sisters really. She is currently unowned and in contact with many Doms, one such Dom recently used her and i was helping her to evaluate her feelings around it. There is no real connection between them, so its sort of confusing her. Basically, over time, she has somehow linked serving with trust. Now before i get jumped... i do agree there has to be a certain level of trust, basic trust to serve, in that you know you will not be harmed, mostly when you are meeting with this person alone. But, what i don't agree with is that in order to serve, you MUST trust that person. i pointed out to her that over the last few years, she has served several she didn't trust, but that wasn't the point behind serving. Its what she got out of it that mattered, that it fulfilled a need in her at that time, what ever that need may have been. To simply serve, is not always to submit. It is obeying, being courteous, dutiful, many things, but it isn't always about submitting. Do you submit because a Dom asked you for a glass of water and you did it?? hmm.. maybe...lol, i don't have all the answers, only what i feel and have learned.
She got the jist of what i was saying but i gave her a task...lol, yes, the Domme in me coming out a little. i asked her to write out what serving meant to her and what it entailed. Then to write out what submitting meant to her and what that also entailed and i think just by me pointing it out, she began to understand the difference. In order to give yourself to someone, yes you need trust, and a lot of it. i asked her where she had learned this thought, and she paused, and said, maybe its because i "want" someone to trust like that... smiles, i think she hit the nail on the head herself. i haven't had a chance to see if she did the task.. perhaps she is hoping for a punishment if she didn't...lol But will share the results, with her permission another day.
Anyways, getting back to my Master.... smiles... As luck would have it, he got out early and we chatted on the way home. He had a task for me, i was to get some ribbon, take off my tights, spread my legs as wide as i could, then tie a ribbon around each thigh, pulling it through the ring on each of my labia and tie it off... wow
As i began tying the first, i was quite nervous, as my Master pointed out, i did my little nervous "cough" thing. i could feel my level of vulnerability rising tenfold as i pulled the ribbon tight and my cunt was half exposed. The next ribbon was even worse, with both labia pulled back by the ribbon through the rings, my cunt was completely exposed, my clit had nowhere to hide! i could hear the grin on my Master's face as i explained how i felt. Before i tied the ribbons, my arousal level was aobut a 6, but as i tied the first ribbon, it had gone up to a 7, the mixture of excitement and fear definitely makes my cunt wet. my Master had me walk around a little and as i did, the lips of my labia rubbed on my clit, what an excellent result of the binding! He had me bend over and present my bottom for fucking and as i did, i could feel my clit hard and throbbing and the thought of needing a cock at that moment was quite prevalent. my Master laughed in delight at the predicament i was in then had me sit and begin masturbating, my cunt spread wide open, clit hard and exposed, my wetness visible. He had me stroke my clit then allowed me to cum, then cum and cum and cum, several times over, each orgasm increasing in intensity. With my eyes glued to the door, and trying my best to keep quiet, i listened carefully to his voice and i came over and over again till finally he told me to gush, and did i ever! With my cunt definitely wet at this point, my Master instructed me to fuck myself with 3 fingers, hard and fast, which i did and came a few more times like that. Then finally, my Master had me spank my clit, not hard enough to hurt, but just hard enough, and each spank sent a shock through me triggering yet more orgasms. my body was shaking by the time he said it was over, and all i could think was omg i hope noone comes in, i'm out of breath, my hands are shaking and my face is all flushed...lol
Afterwards, my Master had me take some pics of his cunt bound open and mail them to him. It was not an easy thing to do since i couldnt really bend over to get the cam far enough away with the corset on..lol, but i did it and sent them.
Now... what to do for the rest of the day!...lol
Monday, April 4, 2011
UGH... Monday
So the weekend wasn't too bad, no rest though, headache is still here, can't wait till i can actually look forwards to weekends off. i am wearing my "fuck me" sweater, black leggings, bra, socks and black boots. i didn't put my corset on this morning as i wasn't feeling well at all, though i did pack it with me to put on this afternoon. i put it on this afternoon and wore it for nearly 2 hours, but my Master told me to take it off, as i was trying to work and was struggling with it a bit, due to getting used to wearing it again and the headache. i do love wearing it, its the one my Master bought for me, and when i have it on, its like i am in his arms, comforted and calm.
This morning, my Master had me look at a profile on fetlife, it was a Dom, but on it was a pic of his girl, a potential girl for my Master to use. She looks nice and useful and i'm sure my Master would enjoy using her. With our relationship what it is, regardless of where i was, i would be used by others and my Master would also use others, and i have no issue with that whatsoever. i do feel a pang of longing i suppose, wishing i was there instead of here when it happens, and i know my Master feels the same when it is me who is being used. i must admit though, i do feel more comfortable when it is likely he is going to use a girl that is owned, because i know like me when i am used, she will just be an object of pleasure for him in that instance. When it is an unowned girl that my Master either uses or may potentially use, i get a bit of a knot in my tummy, but not for the reasons most might think.
i am not jealous of my Master using another, just wish i could be there to join in or even just be there in the corner, wouldn't bother me at all, and i would really enjoy it. Nor am i worried i will be replaced, though that was a HUGE issue for me in the past, what i think bothers me the most, is that i know there is a connection, and for the girl, it is usually much stronger. She gets hooked on the Domination and often goes a bit loopy...lol
i know this is true, because i have seen it happen. But, while my Master has control of his feelings, the girl is like most of us, unable to control those feelings, and as time passes, it grows stronger.
Now i am only speaking from how i feel it would be, if i was uncollared and searching, but then again, maybe i'm way off, its been known to happen a time or two. i myself have yet to be used RL by a true Dominant male besides my Master, but for me, i am not looking for a Master, i have one, so my mindset going into it and leaving the situation is the same, i am there for his pleasure, to serve him as i have been instructed to, nothing more, nothing less. With that said, i do hope that my Master is able to find someone that he can use when he wants to and can really enjoy it, its an important part of our relationship and actually brings us closer together when it happens. Oh and having to be completely honest, it is MUCH easier if the girl he will use is not that attractive... i know shallow, but i can't help it, i really am an awful girl at times.
Anyways... moving on, after that, my Master had me go on a site that streams my video live and others can view it. Now because i am at work, i'm very limited in what i can do or show. i have been on this site several times before but it has been a long time. i was very nervous as i know there is always at least one idiot lurking in the corners. No i do not have a barbie doll figure, and actually, i don't want it. Yes i am larger than i want to be, but i never want to lose my curves! Besides, if i lose my bottom, my Master will first whip me, then make me get it back...lol The cam for the site was set on my desk and pointed to my chest only, no face shots... grins... but i had to laugh because the cam made my breasts look huge, which they aren't...lol, but oh well. There were about 60 men on my cam and my Master had me show them my breasts, to which i got many compliments, and i also stood up for them and turned around. That was about all i could do while here at work, so playing on cam will have to wait for another day. i never know what to say to these guys really, i am supposed to talk to them and tease them, but i get all shy and sort of just sit there.
my Master wants me to get used to being on cam again, because he likes to display me because he is proud of me. It makes me feel proud to be his, but i have never liked a lot of attention, so i have to get used to it.
my day is coming to an end, well, work day that is, thankfully, maybe tonight i'll get a really god rest and wake up headache free!!
This morning, my Master had me look at a profile on fetlife, it was a Dom, but on it was a pic of his girl, a potential girl for my Master to use. She looks nice and useful and i'm sure my Master would enjoy using her. With our relationship what it is, regardless of where i was, i would be used by others and my Master would also use others, and i have no issue with that whatsoever. i do feel a pang of longing i suppose, wishing i was there instead of here when it happens, and i know my Master feels the same when it is me who is being used. i must admit though, i do feel more comfortable when it is likely he is going to use a girl that is owned, because i know like me when i am used, she will just be an object of pleasure for him in that instance. When it is an unowned girl that my Master either uses or may potentially use, i get a bit of a knot in my tummy, but not for the reasons most might think.
i am not jealous of my Master using another, just wish i could be there to join in or even just be there in the corner, wouldn't bother me at all, and i would really enjoy it. Nor am i worried i will be replaced, though that was a HUGE issue for me in the past, what i think bothers me the most, is that i know there is a connection, and for the girl, it is usually much stronger. She gets hooked on the Domination and often goes a bit loopy...lol
i know this is true, because i have seen it happen. But, while my Master has control of his feelings, the girl is like most of us, unable to control those feelings, and as time passes, it grows stronger.
Now i am only speaking from how i feel it would be, if i was uncollared and searching, but then again, maybe i'm way off, its been known to happen a time or two. i myself have yet to be used RL by a true Dominant male besides my Master, but for me, i am not looking for a Master, i have one, so my mindset going into it and leaving the situation is the same, i am there for his pleasure, to serve him as i have been instructed to, nothing more, nothing less. With that said, i do hope that my Master is able to find someone that he can use when he wants to and can really enjoy it, its an important part of our relationship and actually brings us closer together when it happens. Oh and having to be completely honest, it is MUCH easier if the girl he will use is not that attractive... i know shallow, but i can't help it, i really am an awful girl at times.
Anyways... moving on, after that, my Master had me go on a site that streams my video live and others can view it. Now because i am at work, i'm very limited in what i can do or show. i have been on this site several times before but it has been a long time. i was very nervous as i know there is always at least one idiot lurking in the corners. No i do not have a barbie doll figure, and actually, i don't want it. Yes i am larger than i want to be, but i never want to lose my curves! Besides, if i lose my bottom, my Master will first whip me, then make me get it back...lol The cam for the site was set on my desk and pointed to my chest only, no face shots... grins... but i had to laugh because the cam made my breasts look huge, which they aren't...lol, but oh well. There were about 60 men on my cam and my Master had me show them my breasts, to which i got many compliments, and i also stood up for them and turned around. That was about all i could do while here at work, so playing on cam will have to wait for another day. i never know what to say to these guys really, i am supposed to talk to them and tease them, but i get all shy and sort of just sit there.
my Master wants me to get used to being on cam again, because he likes to display me because he is proud of me. It makes me feel proud to be his, but i have never liked a lot of attention, so i have to get used to it.
my day is coming to an end, well, work day that is, thankfully, maybe tonight i'll get a really god rest and wake up headache free!!
Not a total write-off..
So last night i had a task, well an either/or task. As it turned out, my husband didn't come home in time, so out came the toy! i played for about 30 minutes in total, i came 4 times, the first time was fast and hard, it seemed to take ages for the next to hit, but when it did, i came even harder, the same happened with the last 2 orgasm, each progressively harder. When i told my Master about it, i had to laugh because i said it took a long time for the second orgasm to hit, then i realized that in 30 minutes i had 4 really hard orgasms. Most women are lucky to have that in a week...lol my Master laughed too and said you are such a spoiled girl that you think 4 orgasm in 30 minutes took too long!
my headache has come back today, so i have been ordered to bed early with no sex, only pleasuring, i do hope i get a good sleep, going to be a long week i think.
my headache has come back today, so i have been ordered to bed early with no sex, only pleasuring, i do hope i get a good sleep, going to be a long week i think.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Busy day... busy night??
So today was a long and very busy day, i won't bother going into the particulars since they really aren't that interesting. Needless to say, its late and i'm tired, so i'll have to save Part 2 of Head in the Clouds for another day.. smiles
A friend of my husbands is visiting and i have had instructions to flirt with him, well i have been able to flirt with him a little, but my husband was pretty close by, so it was just the basics of playing with my hair, making sure my arm is positioned so that my breasts were pushed up and out, moving my fingers down my cleavage, things like that. My Master also gave me permission to suck him or be fucked by him if he wanted to. That opportunity didn't arise, so i wait to see what happens tonight.
Tonight though, could well be interesting, well actually, one way or another it should be. My Master has given me a task for tonight with a backup in case the first falls through. Tonight, since my husband has been pretty good towards me lately, he is being rewarded with me fucking him really good tonight. i am to dress as specified by my Master and be used from behind. But, since my husband is out and may be back too late for that to happen, my Master has given me an alternative. My husband bought a toy for me a long time ago, but has never had the guts to actually pull it out for me to use, and has just let it sit in a box in the closet for months, he told me it was there, but then made excuses as to why he never brought it out. So... tonight, if it gets too late and i know he won't be back in time, i am to pull it out and use it, cumming 4 times, then when done with it, leave it out so that my husband knows i've used it. The point behind it, is to show him that i am not hiding anything anymore and he'll just have to deal with it.
A friend of my husbands is visiting and i have had instructions to flirt with him, well i have been able to flirt with him a little, but my husband was pretty close by, so it was just the basics of playing with my hair, making sure my arm is positioned so that my breasts were pushed up and out, moving my fingers down my cleavage, things like that. My Master also gave me permission to suck him or be fucked by him if he wanted to. That opportunity didn't arise, so i wait to see what happens tonight.
Tonight though, could well be interesting, well actually, one way or another it should be. My Master has given me a task for tonight with a backup in case the first falls through. Tonight, since my husband has been pretty good towards me lately, he is being rewarded with me fucking him really good tonight. i am to dress as specified by my Master and be used from behind. But, since my husband is out and may be back too late for that to happen, my Master has given me an alternative. My husband bought a toy for me a long time ago, but has never had the guts to actually pull it out for me to use, and has just let it sit in a box in the closet for months, he told me it was there, but then made excuses as to why he never brought it out. So... tonight, if it gets too late and i know he won't be back in time, i am to pull it out and use it, cumming 4 times, then when done with it, leave it out so that my husband knows i've used it. The point behind it, is to show him that i am not hiding anything anymore and he'll just have to deal with it.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Head in the Clouds... Part 1
Well this morning didn't start out so well, woke with a killer migraine so am just plugging along to get through the day. Since concentration isn't high on my list of functions today, i'll pass my time thinking back to the first time i met with my Master.
We had been together for about 5 months when the chance to see each other came about. It was all planned out and things came together. We spoke often about things that would happen, what i was to pack and how i was expected to greet him for the first time. As the days up to the meeting passed, my excitement and anxiety rose. He had seen me several times via internet chat, but i always feared that meeting him in person would be different, and i lacked the confidence in myself to be able to perform and act as expected. Having a very low self image, i was terrified that once he saw me in person, that he may change his mind about me. Yes again, he has seen me on cam, but sometimes cam can hide things, like a ripple here and there, a few stretch marks from carrying my son, things like that. i know i'm not the first girl to have a low self image, but when its happening to you, its the worst thing in the world. You some how seem to not see the same flaws in others as you have, in that instance, we are our own worst enemy.
Anyways, the day came to leave and i was terrified. i boarded the plan with a friend of mine, she knew exactly what was going on and was very happy for me. She talked to me to help me calm and the drink on the second flight helped a bit...lol We landed and were headed to the hotel where as it was planned, i would meet my Master the following day, because we were getting in late. i phoned my Master to tell him we were on our way and he said plans have changed, i think my heart stopped for a moment, of course thinking the worst. But it was for the better. The plan now was for me to get to the hotel and prepare myself, our friends would meet and go out to a bar together, to give us time alone. i was so excited, but then again the fear reared its ugly head.
We got to the hotel, unpacked and my friend got ready to leave. My hands shaking i prepared myself as i had been instructed to. i showered quickly to freshen up from the long day, put on my corset, collar and cuffs, laid out the items i was told to, unlocked the door, and got onto the bed on all fours, facing away from the door and waited. i was concentrating on controling my breathing and my entire body was shaking, my eyes shut tight, i could hear every sound, though barely over the sound of my heart pounding in my head. Then i heard it... the key in the door and i took one final deep breath, letting it out slowly, i was ready....
As luck would have it, the stupid key card for the door didn't work! So i had to get off the bed, open the door just enough, then reposition myself.... talk about an ice breaker...lol Master stood outside the door for a few minutes, just long enough to let my nerves work themselves back up again. Then i heard him open the door and walk in. As instructed, i kept my eyes closed tight, slowed my breathing and hoped he couldn't see my body shaking, though i think the bed was moving...lol
Master then slowly walked around the bed, his face was an inch from my ear, his breath hot against it, he blew softly, then i felt his breath against my shoulder, working his way around my body, his hot breath causing goose bumps to rise on my flesh. During this time he spoke not a word, nor did he touch me, my body was screaming to be touched, my mind a whirlwind of emotions, a constant struggle to keep my composure and do as i had been instructed.
Finally, after what seemed hours, i felt a heat near my lips, eyes still closed, i wasn't sure what it was, then a scent filled my nose and my heart lept, it was the sweet scent of precum, his cock was only a breath away from my lips, then contact! My heart leapt to finally feel my Master against my skin, i heard a moan escape from my lips as he ran the tip of his cum soaked cock around my lips, coating them. i resisted the urge to lick my lips, as i was told i was not allowed, but i wanted to taste him so much!! Then he ordered me to open both my eyes and my mouth, opening both quickly, i looked up semi smiling to my Master, he too was smiling down to me as he put his cock into my mouth, i was so eager to suck him. Then came the hardest words i've heard "No sucking pleasure, just hold still" my stomach jerked and i thought, omg, how can i not! i have waited months for this and its finally here and i can't!
Instantly i could feel the heat of his cock in my mouth, my mouth watering, the naughty girl in me took over after only a few seconds when i felt a drop of his precum fall on my tongue and that was it, i closed my lips around his cock and began to suck for all i was worth! An instant after i began to suck, i felt a sharp blow on my bottom, my Master had spanked me, for an instant i froze, then i continued, it was beyond me to stop, i just couldn't! My Master spanked me harder and harder, my bottom stinging and hot, his cock hard and seeping precum, what a dilemma i was in. Finally, i couldn't take the spanks any more and i feared that with the strength of them, i might just bite down on my Master's cock and that would be worse than anything, i reluctantly stopped sucking. All this happened in about 30 or 40 seconds, but felt much longer, i knelt there looking sheepish at what i had just done, and i looked up to my Master, he was smiling, he knew i couldn't resist and though i was in trouble, he couldn't help but smile at his greedy girl.
We had been together for about 5 months when the chance to see each other came about. It was all planned out and things came together. We spoke often about things that would happen, what i was to pack and how i was expected to greet him for the first time. As the days up to the meeting passed, my excitement and anxiety rose. He had seen me several times via internet chat, but i always feared that meeting him in person would be different, and i lacked the confidence in myself to be able to perform and act as expected. Having a very low self image, i was terrified that once he saw me in person, that he may change his mind about me. Yes again, he has seen me on cam, but sometimes cam can hide things, like a ripple here and there, a few stretch marks from carrying my son, things like that. i know i'm not the first girl to have a low self image, but when its happening to you, its the worst thing in the world. You some how seem to not see the same flaws in others as you have, in that instance, we are our own worst enemy.
Anyways, the day came to leave and i was terrified. i boarded the plan with a friend of mine, she knew exactly what was going on and was very happy for me. She talked to me to help me calm and the drink on the second flight helped a bit...lol We landed and were headed to the hotel where as it was planned, i would meet my Master the following day, because we were getting in late. i phoned my Master to tell him we were on our way and he said plans have changed, i think my heart stopped for a moment, of course thinking the worst. But it was for the better. The plan now was for me to get to the hotel and prepare myself, our friends would meet and go out to a bar together, to give us time alone. i was so excited, but then again the fear reared its ugly head.
We got to the hotel, unpacked and my friend got ready to leave. My hands shaking i prepared myself as i had been instructed to. i showered quickly to freshen up from the long day, put on my corset, collar and cuffs, laid out the items i was told to, unlocked the door, and got onto the bed on all fours, facing away from the door and waited. i was concentrating on controling my breathing and my entire body was shaking, my eyes shut tight, i could hear every sound, though barely over the sound of my heart pounding in my head. Then i heard it... the key in the door and i took one final deep breath, letting it out slowly, i was ready....
As luck would have it, the stupid key card for the door didn't work! So i had to get off the bed, open the door just enough, then reposition myself.... talk about an ice breaker...lol Master stood outside the door for a few minutes, just long enough to let my nerves work themselves back up again. Then i heard him open the door and walk in. As instructed, i kept my eyes closed tight, slowed my breathing and hoped he couldn't see my body shaking, though i think the bed was moving...lol
Master then slowly walked around the bed, his face was an inch from my ear, his breath hot against it, he blew softly, then i felt his breath against my shoulder, working his way around my body, his hot breath causing goose bumps to rise on my flesh. During this time he spoke not a word, nor did he touch me, my body was screaming to be touched, my mind a whirlwind of emotions, a constant struggle to keep my composure and do as i had been instructed.
Finally, after what seemed hours, i felt a heat near my lips, eyes still closed, i wasn't sure what it was, then a scent filled my nose and my heart lept, it was the sweet scent of precum, his cock was only a breath away from my lips, then contact! My heart leapt to finally feel my Master against my skin, i heard a moan escape from my lips as he ran the tip of his cum soaked cock around my lips, coating them. i resisted the urge to lick my lips, as i was told i was not allowed, but i wanted to taste him so much!! Then he ordered me to open both my eyes and my mouth, opening both quickly, i looked up semi smiling to my Master, he too was smiling down to me as he put his cock into my mouth, i was so eager to suck him. Then came the hardest words i've heard "No sucking pleasure, just hold still" my stomach jerked and i thought, omg, how can i not! i have waited months for this and its finally here and i can't!
Instantly i could feel the heat of his cock in my mouth, my mouth watering, the naughty girl in me took over after only a few seconds when i felt a drop of his precum fall on my tongue and that was it, i closed my lips around his cock and began to suck for all i was worth! An instant after i began to suck, i felt a sharp blow on my bottom, my Master had spanked me, for an instant i froze, then i continued, it was beyond me to stop, i just couldn't! My Master spanked me harder and harder, my bottom stinging and hot, his cock hard and seeping precum, what a dilemma i was in. Finally, i couldn't take the spanks any more and i feared that with the strength of them, i might just bite down on my Master's cock and that would be worse than anything, i reluctantly stopped sucking. All this happened in about 30 or 40 seconds, but felt much longer, i knelt there looking sheepish at what i had just done, and i looked up to my Master, he was smiling, he knew i couldn't resist and though i was in trouble, he couldn't help but smile at his greedy girl.
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