The past week has not been a good one for me, i've been struggling with headaches, tummy aches, neck aches.. on and on, so i won't bore you with the details. Basically i think its mostly down to stress, everyday stress though my life seems to have a lot more of it than it ever has and i'm more than ready for a break from it. Master and i have joked about getting the gun and putting me out of my misery, thankfully, Master has decided he's put too much time and effort into me to kill me...lol
Anyways, the weekend is going to be hectic for me and Master is going away next week, so this is likely my last blog until his return. i don't doubt that Master going away has at least a little to do with how i'm feeling. Contact will be very minimal at best if at all, so that of course has me in a bit of a state, though i know i shouldn't be. i had to laugh when talking to my best friend the other day, i said "you know, if you'd have told me a few years ago, i'd be upset or in a state about a man leaving for a week, i'd have told you you were crazy!" She laughed and agreed. But it is different really, he isn't just a man, he is my Master, and that is so much more... smiles. In the time he is away, i am hoping that all my "issues" will clear up and i will be back in good shape for him and be a little more productive than i have been as of late.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Open For Business.... gulp!
This morning my Master and i were able to get just a little time together and Master had me gets some pegs and put one on each nipple and 4 more on each breast, then had me unlock and rub my clit. On his say, i was to remove a peg and when i did i was allowed to cum, one by one the pegs came off and with each peg came another orgasm harder than the last. The pain of the pegs coming off was a sharp short pain followed quickly by a quick spike in the orgasm, the mixture of pain and pleasure was quite intense. Master had me cumming throughout and then had me fuck myself until i gushed. i couldn't help but smile and giggle near the end as my body adjusted to the orgasm and i let it just flow through me.
i was then instructed that after i got ready for work i was to be strapped open until further notice. Wow, talk about a shock to my system and to be quite honest, i'm not sure exactly how i'm feeling about it. When i'm locked i feel safe and secure and completely owned, being open, i still feel very owned but the safety and security is gone. Granted, i am at work and the likelihood of me being used is slim to none and in part that is why he is having me do it while at work, so i can get used to it for when he decides i am to go out strapped open.
my headache disappeared for about a day or so, but has creeped back in, not sure what is up with that but i'm sick of them already that's for sure. Master had to laugh today though, he said that it was clear that my moods are directly related to orgasms. When i don't have them, i get grumpy, yes other factors work into it, but its obvious that denial plays a factor. Since having been able to orgasm, i have felt happier and more smiley than i have been the last week...lol
Master has also given me permission to cum when i like how i like but must report them to him. He laughed because i am a spoiled girl, but he made me that way, i can honestly say it's his fault that i am spoiled. Master likes to use and fuck a cumming cunt, so to him everything up to the point of me orgasming is foreplay...lol and trust me, you won't hear me complaining...lol
i was then instructed that after i got ready for work i was to be strapped open until further notice. Wow, talk about a shock to my system and to be quite honest, i'm not sure exactly how i'm feeling about it. When i'm locked i feel safe and secure and completely owned, being open, i still feel very owned but the safety and security is gone. Granted, i am at work and the likelihood of me being used is slim to none and in part that is why he is having me do it while at work, so i can get used to it for when he decides i am to go out strapped open.
my headache disappeared for about a day or so, but has creeped back in, not sure what is up with that but i'm sick of them already that's for sure. Master had to laugh today though, he said that it was clear that my moods are directly related to orgasms. When i don't have them, i get grumpy, yes other factors work into it, but its obvious that denial plays a factor. Since having been able to orgasm, i have felt happier and more smiley than i have been the last week...lol
Master has also given me permission to cum when i like how i like but must report them to him. He laughed because i am a spoiled girl, but he made me that way, i can honestly say it's his fault that i am spoiled. Master likes to use and fuck a cumming cunt, so to him everything up to the point of me orgasming is foreplay...lol and trust me, you won't hear me complaining...lol
Friday, July 22, 2011
It's Almost Gone
my headache that is, the weather is returning to semi-normal and so my headache is slowly dissipating thankfully. Master and i have had a little bit of time the last couple days to chat but not much else. i am still on lockdown and denial with plenty of pleasuring through out. i am to bring myself to the edge each and every time now. This has left me a little frustrated and most definitely ready for use at any time.
Master has still not said how long this is going to last and really it doesn't matter, i do like being locked, i feel very safe and protected and above all else, completely owned. This morning Master joked about me not losing the key, as he has the other one safe and sound 3,000 miles away... eeks! i mean in a pinch i can take it off without the key, but i hope i never have too. Although Master is amused by the idea of me having to walk over to the fire station and ask them to remove it for me...lol.
Now some of you may be asking, well how do you get around your husband seeing or knowing you are locked, it's quite easy really, i just wear knickers to bed and he, being the non observant type, hasn't noticed i'm wearing them or more likely doesn't care..lol. Sometimes it's a really good thing he doesn't take notice of things.
Work has really been "work" lately. i just don't even feel like coming in and when here, put my head down do my work and just get on with it, not really enjoying it anymore. But, we must do what we must do and for now, this is what i must do. So, that being said, i suppose it's time to put my head down and get it done.
Master has still not said how long this is going to last and really it doesn't matter, i do like being locked, i feel very safe and protected and above all else, completely owned. This morning Master joked about me not losing the key, as he has the other one safe and sound 3,000 miles away... eeks! i mean in a pinch i can take it off without the key, but i hope i never have too. Although Master is amused by the idea of me having to walk over to the fire station and ask them to remove it for me...lol.
Now some of you may be asking, well how do you get around your husband seeing or knowing you are locked, it's quite easy really, i just wear knickers to bed and he, being the non observant type, hasn't noticed i'm wearing them or more likely doesn't care..lol. Sometimes it's a really good thing he doesn't take notice of things.
Work has really been "work" lately. i just don't even feel like coming in and when here, put my head down do my work and just get on with it, not really enjoying it anymore. But, we must do what we must do and for now, this is what i must do. So, that being said, i suppose it's time to put my head down and get it done.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Double Whammy
It's been a while since i've written, but i have been suffering through yet another drawn out headaches, totally weather related, this humidity and heat will just not let up. Because of this, my headaches have stayed at a steady 5ish on the scale to a raging 10 at one point. Because of this, my Master has given me standing orders that if i have a headache of 5 or more, then i do not have to orgasm or do exercises because it only makes things worse. Master also decided that since i was not in any shape to be used, i was to be locked all the time.
Now not only am i on total 24/7 lockdown, except for showering and weeing, Master also has me in a period of denial... ugh. And you may think, well that's not too bad, you're locked up anyways... wrong! Master has instructed me to pleasure each night and morning, also in the shower and every time i go wee, which for the record is about every 2 hours! So needless to say i have been on edge last night and this morning being the worst.
Last night Master gave me a task of finding a video of a gangbang that i would want, or mostly want and we would discuss the video as we watched it together, my likes, dislikes, whatever it might be. So after about 30 min of searching, i found a video i liked, i think because i could identify with it. This morning, Master and i watched it together and he said when something is happening you don't like or want, say so. The movie was of a submissive lead into a room by her Dom on a chain leash, blindfolded and positioned on the bed, on her knees, legs spread, bottom up ready for use.Once she is in place, you can see something written on her bottom with arrows, now unfortunately it's written in Dutch or German something like that and i can't read it, but Master and i came up with a few things it likely said...smiles. Once she was on the bed ready, you saw what was planned, in the room, there were 30 men all waiting to fuck her. One by one they began taking her and you could see that this was real, not a cheap porn movie.
The girl was definitely enjoying herself and you could see when she came and knew it was real. Most of the men fucked her hard and fast cumming in or on her, some slower, but you could see she preferred the hard and fast, but i'm sure she liked the little bit of a break...lol. At one point, one of the men decided to use her bottom. At that point i said i wouldn't want that, quite simply because my bottom is for my Master's use only and i like that it is for him only, so unless it was him, i wouldn't want it. He understood and agreed with this. As the movie progressed, it was 60 min in total, you could see the cum dripping from her cunt because of all the men that had used her and cum in her, the thought of that being me excites me alot. She was then turned over and there was a trail of cum leading from her cunt up her belly and you got the fully effect of just how much cum was dripping from her, what a lucky lucky girl she was.
Later into the movie, while on her back, she would get fucked and be sucking one or two cocks and stroking others, some would cum in her mouth or on her body, but also, a few came on her face, some purposefully and others just by happenstance. Again, i said i wouldn't want that. Before i met my Master i had never let anyone cum on my face, i really dislike the thought of it, not sure exactly why, but i think it was much like being wee'd on. It felt like the purpose was to humiliate me and i am NOT into humiliation in the least. But when my Master did cum on my face, i felt nothing but pride to be allowed to have his cum on me and there was no humiliation felt or intended, so again, this is something reserved for my Master. Master agreed but also said that if he were to have me in that situation, then he would make it very clear that IF cum got on my face by accident, i would not be in trouble nor would he be upset, it would just have to be removed immediately. But absolutely not if it was done on purpose or because i was lazy or careless. Then i would be punished.
The final thing in the movie that i would not want is that nearing the end, she began kissing these men, i mean long deep kisses, tongues all tangled and everything. First, my Master is the only one i kiss and who kisses me and second, all i could think was ewwww!!! She has just sucked off about a dozen guys... think about it! Both Master and i curled our noses and shook our heads noooo...lol
Anyways, About 45 min in, Master had me masturbate and bring myself to the brink of orgasm, then stop. A few min later, he had me being rubbing my clit fast, then slow, then tug on it, stroking it like a little cock. my clit being as sensitive as it was, it felt as if my clit itself could cum and spurt cum out of it, i know not possible, but it felt like it. Master had me stop a few times when i was really close, then he had me stroke it again, to the edge, then pinch it between my fingers and use the finger of my other hand to just rub the tip... wow, it was nearly more than i could bear and it took everything for me to concentrate on not cumming. i was left sitting feeling cum seeping from my cunt down between the cheeks of my bottom onto my shorts. i was instructed to leave the shorts on until i had to get ready for work.
i got ready for work, took a shower, pleasured till the point of orgasm and stopped, finished my shower, dressed, relocked and am now sitting at my desk at work wanting nothing more than to cum with my Master. i have no idea how long Master plans on having me locked or how long the denial period is, but i am thinking it's going to be quite a while.... sighs... but at least i can look forward to just how powerful the first orgasm will be after denial...smiles
Now not only am i on total 24/7 lockdown, except for showering and weeing, Master also has me in a period of denial... ugh. And you may think, well that's not too bad, you're locked up anyways... wrong! Master has instructed me to pleasure each night and morning, also in the shower and every time i go wee, which for the record is about every 2 hours! So needless to say i have been on edge last night and this morning being the worst.
Last night Master gave me a task of finding a video of a gangbang that i would want, or mostly want and we would discuss the video as we watched it together, my likes, dislikes, whatever it might be. So after about 30 min of searching, i found a video i liked, i think because i could identify with it. This morning, Master and i watched it together and he said when something is happening you don't like or want, say so. The movie was of a submissive lead into a room by her Dom on a chain leash, blindfolded and positioned on the bed, on her knees, legs spread, bottom up ready for use.Once she is in place, you can see something written on her bottom with arrows, now unfortunately it's written in Dutch or German something like that and i can't read it, but Master and i came up with a few things it likely said...smiles. Once she was on the bed ready, you saw what was planned, in the room, there were 30 men all waiting to fuck her. One by one they began taking her and you could see that this was real, not a cheap porn movie.
The girl was definitely enjoying herself and you could see when she came and knew it was real. Most of the men fucked her hard and fast cumming in or on her, some slower, but you could see she preferred the hard and fast, but i'm sure she liked the little bit of a break...lol. At one point, one of the men decided to use her bottom. At that point i said i wouldn't want that, quite simply because my bottom is for my Master's use only and i like that it is for him only, so unless it was him, i wouldn't want it. He understood and agreed with this. As the movie progressed, it was 60 min in total, you could see the cum dripping from her cunt because of all the men that had used her and cum in her, the thought of that being me excites me alot. She was then turned over and there was a trail of cum leading from her cunt up her belly and you got the fully effect of just how much cum was dripping from her, what a lucky lucky girl she was.
Later into the movie, while on her back, she would get fucked and be sucking one or two cocks and stroking others, some would cum in her mouth or on her body, but also, a few came on her face, some purposefully and others just by happenstance. Again, i said i wouldn't want that. Before i met my Master i had never let anyone cum on my face, i really dislike the thought of it, not sure exactly why, but i think it was much like being wee'd on. It felt like the purpose was to humiliate me and i am NOT into humiliation in the least. But when my Master did cum on my face, i felt nothing but pride to be allowed to have his cum on me and there was no humiliation felt or intended, so again, this is something reserved for my Master. Master agreed but also said that if he were to have me in that situation, then he would make it very clear that IF cum got on my face by accident, i would not be in trouble nor would he be upset, it would just have to be removed immediately. But absolutely not if it was done on purpose or because i was lazy or careless. Then i would be punished.
The final thing in the movie that i would not want is that nearing the end, she began kissing these men, i mean long deep kisses, tongues all tangled and everything. First, my Master is the only one i kiss and who kisses me and second, all i could think was ewwww!!! She has just sucked off about a dozen guys... think about it! Both Master and i curled our noses and shook our heads noooo...lol
Anyways, About 45 min in, Master had me masturbate and bring myself to the brink of orgasm, then stop. A few min later, he had me being rubbing my clit fast, then slow, then tug on it, stroking it like a little cock. my clit being as sensitive as it was, it felt as if my clit itself could cum and spurt cum out of it, i know not possible, but it felt like it. Master had me stop a few times when i was really close, then he had me stroke it again, to the edge, then pinch it between my fingers and use the finger of my other hand to just rub the tip... wow, it was nearly more than i could bear and it took everything for me to concentrate on not cumming. i was left sitting feeling cum seeping from my cunt down between the cheeks of my bottom onto my shorts. i was instructed to leave the shorts on until i had to get ready for work.
i got ready for work, took a shower, pleasured till the point of orgasm and stopped, finished my shower, dressed, relocked and am now sitting at my desk at work wanting nothing more than to cum with my Master. i have no idea how long Master plans on having me locked or how long the denial period is, but i am thinking it's going to be quite a while.... sighs... but at least i can look forward to just how powerful the first orgasm will be after denial...smiles
Monday, July 18, 2011
i've Got.... Nothing...
Monday is upon us once again and i've got nothing.... no idea what to write or say. i suppose that's okay, though i know there is lots i should write about but nothing is coming to me at the moment. The weekend was busy and really really stinking hot, they say we have a heat wave coming.. oh yay..not! i don't do well in the heat. i did accomplish alot this weekend, so i'm happy about that.
Master got me to get out riding my bike too, and actually, i had forgotten that i enjoy it although it leaves one's bottom aching and not in a good way. The first day i was out about an hour in total, son in tow, so no major records broken there, but all in all a good work out. This morning we went again and ventured down some trails though i was leery as i have heard there have been bears lurking around and well, i'm really not keen on coming up on one on the trail especially with my son. Not quite sure what i'd do to be honest, i mean i "know" i'd calmly as possible tell my son to turn around and peddle his little heart out and i would likely do the same, but on the inside, i'd be freaking out. Bears around here are not as timid as they used to be, they are getting used to humans being around, but i'd rather not greet them in their backyard and have them decide they might want a little snack!
Anyways, i'm working today, its not as hot as yesterday but still pretty warm, i have on my dress, bra, knickers and lock. Master does like me to be locked as much as possible, and really so do i. i feel more secure like that. Mind you, i have found out that being locked and biking don't go well together. So until or unless we find a solution, i go biking unlocked.
Suppose i should get some work done and just hope that the afternoon flies by.
Master got me to get out riding my bike too, and actually, i had forgotten that i enjoy it although it leaves one's bottom aching and not in a good way. The first day i was out about an hour in total, son in tow, so no major records broken there, but all in all a good work out. This morning we went again and ventured down some trails though i was leery as i have heard there have been bears lurking around and well, i'm really not keen on coming up on one on the trail especially with my son. Not quite sure what i'd do to be honest, i mean i "know" i'd calmly as possible tell my son to turn around and peddle his little heart out and i would likely do the same, but on the inside, i'd be freaking out. Bears around here are not as timid as they used to be, they are getting used to humans being around, but i'd rather not greet them in their backyard and have them decide they might want a little snack!
Anyways, i'm working today, its not as hot as yesterday but still pretty warm, i have on my dress, bra, knickers and lock. Master does like me to be locked as much as possible, and really so do i. i feel more secure like that. Mind you, i have found out that being locked and biking don't go well together. So until or unless we find a solution, i go biking unlocked.
Suppose i should get some work done and just hope that the afternoon flies by.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Cocks, Cocks, Cocks... grins
So yesterday Master had me strapped open and then had me look for a cock i would like to use and fuck me, then go masturbate to orgasm imagining that cock fucking me. Finally having a little time to myself, i began searching for "the cock", of course you have to sift through hundreds of photos.. evil grin.
There are cocks of every shape, size and colour, some quite disturbing i might add... those sort of dry you up quick..lol Now, did i want a big black cock, an average cock, a long cock, a short cock, a thin cock, a thick cock, i wasn't sure, the only thing i knew i wanted was a straight one...lol. Now my Master laughs at me and says that not only am i a slut, i'm a picky slut, since, if given a choice, i would choose a straight cock. Some cocks have slight curves to them, and that's fine, but i have seen a few that look more like a boomerang, i'm sure you've all seen them too. Perhaps there is a benefit to a boomerang cock, for all i know it might hit just the right spots! But for me visually, sorry, i like them straighter.
As for longer, well, of course i'd like to try out a cock that bottoms out in me, but i can't see it being all that good for too long, i mean wouldn't all that bottoming out eventually end up hurting? A stubby cock wouldn't hurt, but would you actually feel it inside you?? i suppose it might be a bit like putting a bullet inside your lips minus the vibrations... hmmm, wonder if you can get an implant that makes stubby cocks vibrate..smiles
Anyways, the cock i choose was probably about average length but looked thick. For me, yes i want to feel filled, and i have a dildo that does that as well as stretches me and i like the stretching feeling. The dildo i have is very "veiny" and as i use it, i can feel all the ripples of the veins inside and feel them as they pop out of my cunt. So yes, i would say that a thick average length cock is my choice.
Picture chosen, cunt wet, i went off to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, i began rubbing my clit, i really did try to go slow and savour the feelings, but as usual, this impatient slut needed to cum fast. The image of that cock poised at the wet opening of my cunt, then pushing in stretching me, driving all the way into me before pulling back out, feeling the head pop from between my lips made my fingers move faster and faster. i rocked on the toilet slightly in time with the "movie" in my head feeling him pull out and dive back in on each stroke. i was soon cumming, the orgasm hit hard and fast and i had to make sure not to say a word...lol, someone might have heard.
i arranged myself and went back to my office and sent off an email to report to my Master. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, though i did keep getting distracted by images of cocks.. smiles. i wore my straps for about 4 hours then took them off and put the lock back on. Master was pleased that i had completed my task and that i was able to wear the straps for that long on my first try. i'm locked today, but the straps are close at hand just in case.
There are cocks of every shape, size and colour, some quite disturbing i might add... those sort of dry you up quick..lol Now, did i want a big black cock, an average cock, a long cock, a short cock, a thin cock, a thick cock, i wasn't sure, the only thing i knew i wanted was a straight one...lol. Now my Master laughs at me and says that not only am i a slut, i'm a picky slut, since, if given a choice, i would choose a straight cock. Some cocks have slight curves to them, and that's fine, but i have seen a few that look more like a boomerang, i'm sure you've all seen them too. Perhaps there is a benefit to a boomerang cock, for all i know it might hit just the right spots! But for me visually, sorry, i like them straighter.
As for longer, well, of course i'd like to try out a cock that bottoms out in me, but i can't see it being all that good for too long, i mean wouldn't all that bottoming out eventually end up hurting? A stubby cock wouldn't hurt, but would you actually feel it inside you?? i suppose it might be a bit like putting a bullet inside your lips minus the vibrations... hmmm, wonder if you can get an implant that makes stubby cocks vibrate..smiles
Anyways, the cock i choose was probably about average length but looked thick. For me, yes i want to feel filled, and i have a dildo that does that as well as stretches me and i like the stretching feeling. The dildo i have is very "veiny" and as i use it, i can feel all the ripples of the veins inside and feel them as they pop out of my cunt. So yes, i would say that a thick average length cock is my choice.
Picture chosen, cunt wet, i went off to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, i began rubbing my clit, i really did try to go slow and savour the feelings, but as usual, this impatient slut needed to cum fast. The image of that cock poised at the wet opening of my cunt, then pushing in stretching me, driving all the way into me before pulling back out, feeling the head pop from between my lips made my fingers move faster and faster. i rocked on the toilet slightly in time with the "movie" in my head feeling him pull out and dive back in on each stroke. i was soon cumming, the orgasm hit hard and fast and i had to make sure not to say a word...lol, someone might have heard.
i arranged myself and went back to my office and sent off an email to report to my Master. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, though i did keep getting distracted by images of cocks.. smiles. i wore my straps for about 4 hours then took them off and put the lock back on. Master was pleased that i had completed my task and that i was able to wear the straps for that long on my first try. i'm locked today, but the straps are close at hand just in case.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Strapped
For some, the word strapped calls an immediate image to mind, but for me, what it means is that i am strapped open, instead of being locked up.
Yesterday Master and i experimented with straps and found that with a little modification, i could use some bands to pull my rings to the side, spreading my lips apart and leaving my cunt open and exposed. So today Master has me wearing jeans and strapped open. Being strapped open is a bit odd for me, since i am used to being either locked up or just left unlocked. In this case, with the jeans, as i walk or sit, i can feel the seam of the jeans rub against my clit. It is a pleasurable albeit odd sensation..lol The material is rough against my clit, but not in a hurtful way. i am definitely more aware of my cunt and the fact that i am open for use by anyone that should want it and i can't reasonably turn anyone down when i am left open. Because of this, it has left me feeling a little on the vulnerable side. i think however, if i was not at work, where the chance of me being fucked was slim, i would feel even more vulnerable and likely nervous.
Master has set a task for me today, and that is to find a pic of a cock that i would like to use me and fuck me. i joked and asked if he could show me his so i could get a pic, he laughed and said no, and i knew he meant other than him. After i find the pic, i am to masturbate and cum imagining that cock using me, then report to my Master why i would want that cock and how hard i came while thinking of being used by it.
Master has held off my orgasms since i have not been feeling well, but the storm front seems to have moved on and taking with it my headaches.. yay! He told me last night that i would be feeling better today and that my level of hornyness would return... i would have to say once again he is right, though i never doubted it...lol
So i am off in my search of a cock.. wish me luck..grins
Yesterday Master and i experimented with straps and found that with a little modification, i could use some bands to pull my rings to the side, spreading my lips apart and leaving my cunt open and exposed. So today Master has me wearing jeans and strapped open. Being strapped open is a bit odd for me, since i am used to being either locked up or just left unlocked. In this case, with the jeans, as i walk or sit, i can feel the seam of the jeans rub against my clit. It is a pleasurable albeit odd sensation..lol The material is rough against my clit, but not in a hurtful way. i am definitely more aware of my cunt and the fact that i am open for use by anyone that should want it and i can't reasonably turn anyone down when i am left open. Because of this, it has left me feeling a little on the vulnerable side. i think however, if i was not at work, where the chance of me being fucked was slim, i would feel even more vulnerable and likely nervous.
Master has set a task for me today, and that is to find a pic of a cock that i would like to use me and fuck me. i joked and asked if he could show me his so i could get a pic, he laughed and said no, and i knew he meant other than him. After i find the pic, i am to masturbate and cum imagining that cock using me, then report to my Master why i would want that cock and how hard i came while thinking of being used by it.
Master has held off my orgasms since i have not been feeling well, but the storm front seems to have moved on and taking with it my headaches.. yay! He told me last night that i would be feeling better today and that my level of hornyness would return... i would have to say once again he is right, though i never doubted it...lol
So i am off in my search of a cock.. wish me luck..grins
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