Big Girls Don't Cry... yes we do...

For the last 2 days i've had this strange feeling, i can't put it into words, not exactly pin point what the feeling is. But it hit me last night, i want to cry. Why? i don't know, i just feel the need to. Now i'm not a "crier" and before i met my Master, i rarely cried, i mean it, very rarely, how could i show my weakness to others? Even the first time my Master asked me to cry for him, it took a while, but then the flood gates opened. It was the first time in a very long time i had cried in front of anyone, i mean other than say at a funeral. But crying in front of my Master was a relief. i could make all those ugly crying faces and he still loved me, red eyed, snotty nosed, bloated face, didn't matter, he was there with his smiling face to bring me back after a good cry.
my life has been so hectic and my world turned upside down for a long time now and i can sort of see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel now. Master has tightened his grip on me and gotten me back into a regime, i am beginning to feel some semblance of order in my life again. i suppose its all a mixture of what has transpired over the last while that i need to feel that release. i have been missing my Master so very much lately, we seem to not get a lot of time together so that factors into it. i haven't been feeling well or getting much sleep. my days are filled and so are my evenings, there is very little "me" time. And by "me" time, i mean time to be the real me, my Master's Pleasure.
Tonight, before saying goodnight, i asked my Master if i could shed diamonds tonight, Master calls my tears his diamonds, as they make him rich... smiles. i explained to him how i had felt, and that i wasn't sad really, but didn't know what it was. He smiled and said yes i could, then he said, its relief you are feeling, that you have order in your life again.... sighs... yes, that is it. He knows me better than i know myself. So tonight, while i take my bath, i will shed my diamonds and feel the wonderful release that comes with it.