To me a picture is worth a thousand words and more. You see, i have struggled with remembering things for a while now. Things that are not so important at times, but also things that are VERY important. Over the last few years with my Master, we would discuss things and he would be shocked that i didn't remember them. And i'm talking things that one should remember. As in the order in which things happened and how they happened.
Here's just the latest example. The blog i wrote about being used and with another girl, it took me nearly all day to remember the sequence of things and it was just a few days before!!! Not only do i have trouble remembering the sequence, i forget key things that happen.
Master has come to realize just how bad my memory is. i have struggled with it and it frustrates me to no end. i would feel devastated when i wouldn't remember something Master did to me when we were together, or how and when something happened. To me, it looked like i didn't care enough or it didn't matter enough for me to remember, and i think for my Master he may have felt that at times, i'm not entirely sure. But he could tell by the look on my face that i was telling the truth when i would say i couldn't remember. Master now laughs and says that my hard drive gets erased when i get fucked...lol. He may well be right, but it still really upsets me to the point of tears sometimes.
In all the times we have been together, Master and i forget to take pictures, well we have a few, but not many and he would say, "We don't need them, we have the memories in our minds", and i could feel the tears well up because most of the time i didn't! Because of this, Master has assured me that from now on we will take a lot of pictures when we are together so that i can have those memories too.
i hate the fact that i can't replay things in my mind, i can sometimes and sometimes things are so clear, but then other times its just a faint memory or a blur. i wish there was something i could do about it, but i'm afraid there isn't.
I know what you mean, to an extent. I am lucky that I have a great memory. However, when it comes to sex and kinky stuff, I seem to forget and need to try really hard to remember. And it may not be as extreme as your forgetfulness but it bothers me a lot considering I can remember everything else. I hope the pictures help because that seems to me the only thing that will be helpful. :)
ReplyDeletesmiles, thank you for your comment Naida, it is nice to know i'm not the only one that forgets...lol and so far, pictures have helped
ReplyDeleteYes we will take pictures in future and create a 'virtual memory' for my girl.
ReplyDeleteHave you considered what the cause of your fuzzy memory is for you and how to fix it (aside from pictures in case they can't be taken for whatever reason)?
ReplyDeletei have very much the same problem and have chalked it up to a very strong emotional reaction. i remember how i was feeling very well, but have trouble remembering details.
well as for the cause, no i'm not sure, i do however have a medical condition in which one of the side effects is memory loss, but i'm not sure that is the only reason, i've had a bad memory for a long time, it just seems much worse lately.
ReplyDeleteAs for what can i do to fix it, well, not much really, i have lists and reminders for what i need to do such as daily routines and tasks, i also have journals that i kept to help me remember and really, that is what the purpose of this blog is, to keep a record of my life with Master and to help keep what is important in mind