To Dare To Love...

To dare to love is to know you will grieve... this girl dared to love.
That line was in my profile when i met my Master and it spoke volumes to him when he read it. It still speaks volumes to me today, i think it always will. Whether you grieve the loss of the person, the loss of the relationship or the loss of the love, you will grieve that loss. But in the end, is it really worth it?
That is a question that has been put to me several times and the answer has always been the same, yes... it is worth it. 
i have over the years lost what i thought was love and i grieved  it, but in the last 3 years, i have learned the true meaning of love and being loved. It is the most sacred feeling i think one can have. At times my heart is so filled with love i feel as if i can't breath and i might just explode. Other times, i have felt love so strongly that i implode, go loopy i guess and don't know what to do with that feeling. i get giddy, i cry, i have a total melt down sometimes, but in the end i would still say yes it's worth it.
Each time my Master and i have been able to meet in person, i feel so free in being me and dread having to leave and return to my "normal" life. And when i do leave, i grieve the loss of that feeling, the loss of being with my Master physically and it's very hard, no doubt, but it is the choice we have made and i wouldn't change it. Yes of course if i could wave a magic wand and make things the way i wanted, i would do it in a heartbeat, but we all know that isn't possible.
Do i get angry and frustrated? Of course i do, there are days when i would just leave it all behind, save for my son, and hop on a plane and live my life the way i wanted to, would my Master, yes i think he would too. But life isn't that easy and we haven't chosen the easy road. Even far apart, we are close together than most are and i do think that in part, it is because we are apart. Emotions and feelings must be expressed in words because we can't always see each other to be able to read and sense how the other is feeling, although my Master seems to still be able to do it...lol He knows me better than i know myself.
While my journey has been filled with ups and downs, its been the best ride of my life. It has allowed me to find me again. The girl that was lost, stumbling around in the dark, is now shining brighter than ever. Sometimes i want to shout it out loud, tell the whole world who i am and how lucky i am to have been taken by such a wonderful Master and moulded into who i am today....though if i did, it wouldn't be such a good thing...lol The men in white coats might just come...hmmm... although... they do have straight jackets... grins
The reason for this blog today is that i am locked, with no knickers and Master and i were talking about it, as it causes a little pain as the lock shifts when i walk. He asked if i liked the lock and i said i did, and that it made me very aware of it, this pleased him because he had what he wanted. But also, i was not keen on the  pain it sometimes caused. His reply was..."The price is a little pain"... to which i replied.. " isn't that always the cost Master?"
This girl knows one day she will grieve, but for all the happiness before it, it is well worth the cost to me.